God loves the modern user-friendly man:
rewards that man in this life and the next.
He wants us each to have a business plan,
and then to read a self- improvement text.
Rewards await all those who face their fears -
Movie vouchers, chocolate bars, some wine:
Then find out how you rate against your peers,
(Once you've filled this survey in on-line),
And thus proactively incentivised
we shall graze on pastures of the Lord,
til as lambs in abattoirs, we're optimised
to world's best practice, quality assured.
So let me frame my mission statement here:
to watch more TV. And to drink more beer.